Father’s day can be a very difficult time for those who have lost a father, or fatherly figure. Here are our top ways you can celebrate Father’s day without your fatherly figure.
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As the year flew by, suddenly Father’s Day is upon us. Supermarkets are filled with blue coloured items, tools, chocolates and cards, in celebration of this special day. But for those of us spending this day without the one we love, Father’s Day can lead to episodes of low mood, and extreme mourning.
Whether you celebrate Father’s Day for your step-dad, adopted dad, granddad, fatherly figure or anyone else, this special day can bring back memories of the past which may lead to an emotional spiral downwards, as the day progresses. Though no one can truly replace the person we celebrate this day for, the way in which we celebrate does not have to remain the same.
British TV show, This Morning recently discussed the topic of Father’s Day without a father as callers dialled in and sought out help and advice. Many callers and online commenters were experiencing their first Father’s Day without their loved one, calling for help on what to do and what is ‘normal’ to feel. If you are experiencing Father’s Day for the first time without your loved one, or any other calendar event such as Christmas and birthdays. Check out our The First Year blog, designed to address these first year unknowns.
Much like many areas of our lives, change occurs almost unconsciously and we only notice these changes when looking back. I like to refer to this process of consistent movement and looking back as ‘The Power of Change’. Reminiscing about past times can be extremely beneficial and often rewarding, as we see how much we have changed over the past year or so. In general, we have improved in some way since the year that has passed, whether that’s emotionally, academically or professionally.
When looking back on times with a now passed loved one, revisiting memories can lead to an emotional low as we remember how happy we were with that person. The change in this instance, is the change of presence as the person is no longer around. Grief, mourning and depression frequently reach an all time high as dedicated days make the loved persons missing painfully apparent.
The power of change
Though difficult, special calendar days do not have to be consumed by mourning. Instead these days can be filled with happiness and positive reminiscing, as the objective of the day changes. For Father’s Day, we can instead eat foods the father figure loved, or do an activity they enjoyed to help remember them and their love. This can be done with family and friends, or without depending on your own personal journey and preferences. In this example, the Power of Change present is the changing meaning behind Father’s Day.
Father’s Day can instead be a time of joyful adventure as you try out new activities you have never done before that were your fatherly figures favourite, or listen to a new album that they loved. Whichever route you choose to go down, you are using this day to dedicate as a special celebration of their love and affect on your life.
We personally understand the difficulties that come with Father’s Day, and it appears big name brands are also starting to notice. Companies such as Tesco now offer an unsubscribe option specifically for Father’s and Mother’s Day emails helping you on your own grief journey, at a pace that suits you.
Visit our Helpful Websites page for links to helplines and other centres. There’s no shame in asking for help.