As time passes – Remembering a loved one
When a loss is felt we often want the whole world to stop. As the years pass we can worry that we are forgetting ‘parts’ of a loved one, here are some ways you can overcome this feeling.
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As the years continue to pass it can feel daunting to know that a loved one hasn’t been with us for months or even years. We can feel a sense of somber worry as we concern ourselves with the possibility of ‘forgetting’ any part of a loved person.
Whether you lost someone to age, illness or accident know that these feels of concern and self-reflective worry are normal. Though we want the world to stop when such an intense loss is felt, that is unfortunately not what happens.
Continuing on with life even though a loss has happened does not reduce the amount of love you feel for another person. Instead, it represents your internal strength to carry that person around with you day to day.
This is why anniversaries and days of remembrance are so important to those of us grieving a loss. These days can provide us with dedicated time to look back on what has happened and share these memories with the thought of our loved ones.
Here are a few things you can do to take time out of your day or dedicate a special day to the remembrance of a past loved one.
Go for a walk with family/friends: Going out might not be the number one activity you want to do while grieving, however, finding a place of natural beauty where you can walk with close friends or family members can be a fantastic way to remember a loved one. Walks give us time to decompress and share emotions with others without the worry of a tense environment. Additionally, finding somewhere of beauty or somewhere that was special to your loved one will make you feel closer to them as you reflect on the love you shared.
Remembering what they enjoyed: Many of our loved ones had hobbies or activities that might have felt small or even a nuisance while they were alive but now hold greater significance. Doing things like painting, DIY projects and so on that our loved ones did is a great to feel closer to them, as we begin to remember all of the little moments that you shared while they were doing this specific activity.
Write it down: As previously mentioned we can worry that we will forget parts of a loved one or memories we shared. One great way to ensure these memories stay with us is to write them down. Using a notebook or diary you can document the life you shared together and look back on these memories when you feel ready to.
Tip: Writing down memories isn’t the only way you can remember a loved one. Creating poetry, songs or even books about your grief is another fantastic way to express your sorrow. Doing this can prevent emotional build-ups and if you ever wish to you can share these writings with others.
Remember you are not alone in your grief and every emotion you feel is important. Progressing through your own grief journey at a pace that is right for you is a personal experience, so don’t let others shape how you ‘think’ you should be feeling.
Visit our Helpful Websites page for links to helplines and other centres. There’s no shame in asking for help.